Review of Short Story "Smile for the Camera" by Andrew Mondry

I found this short story at Weird Lit Magazine. It's a futuristic (maybe near-futuristic!) tale by Andrew Mondry about a father who seeks a little peace.

You'll likely understand the father's struggle for "me-time" whether you have a kid or not. 

Length: 5 to 10 minutes

Genre: Speculative humor

Stick around to read my review of "Smile for the Camera" by Andrew Mondry. Or, go here to read the story at Weird Lit Mag, and then come back to see if we agree!

General Impressions

Q. How's the hook?

The first two sentences appealed to me because the main character, Toby, is struggling to get a little privacy. A little me-time. 

Toby is the father of a baby. Anyone who has cared for a baby knows how hard it can be to feel, well, human ... at least until the child sleeps through the night. 

We see Toby attempting to escape to the bathroom after tending to his infant daughter. He just wants a few moments of peace.

While Toby sits on the throne, the reader learns that "SkyCall" has been activated in the bathroom. 

The nature of SkyCall is not immediately explained, but it soon becomes clear.

Q. What made me want to keep reading this short story?

So, what is SkyCall? Curious minds want to know. 

You might say SkyCall is Andrew Mondry's vision of a futuristic Alexa or Siri. It's a constant digital entity, a presence that chats at Toby any time of day it wants, even in his most private moments.

I knew I liked this story when SkyCall began advising Toby to consider a stool softener as he sat on the toilet.  Yeah, this story incorporates a healthy dose of wit in its cynical futuristic narrative.

When Toby's wife suggests he step out for a breather after dinner, and SkyCall follows him. The reader enjoys more glimpses of how annoying and inconvenient SkyCall is. It's interesting to read because an ever-present AI entity like SkyCall is a real possibility for the reader's future.

Q. What did I think of the plot?

Unlike some short fiction found online, this story has a definite plot.

There is an introduction. A rise in tension. A climax. A resolution at the end that leaves the reader pondering the story's message.

Q. Did I enjoy the main character?

Tony's character is a relatable everyman. He's a family guy and a decent human. He wants what we all want: peace and quiet. "Me time." As the kids would say, "That's so real."

You don't have to be a dad, or even a dude, to relate to Toby and the struggles he faces in this short story. He can't get away from his AI companion, and the AI in his world seemingly affects everything, from the price of his groceries to his safety as he leaves the grocery store.

I enjoyed the main character. He is not an extraordinary person, but he's in extraordinary circumstances, and it's fun and meaningful to see how he deals with it.

Q. How was the writing style?

Writer Andrew Mondry strikes a clever balance between action, description, inner thoughts, and dialogue.

The story moves quickly through Toby's "day in the life" AI adventure. The reader gets a rich picture of the world the author has created -- a digital and oppressive world. 

I found myself admiring some of Mondry's poetic descriptions. For example, when Toby goes out for a walk, he sees the October sun "struggling against the horizon, its warmth losing to winter's dark appetite." 

That's a beautifully written sentence that provides a bit of symbolism. It's a visual representation of the societal "decay" in Toby's world.

Q. Is the ending satisfying?

The ending takes a peculiar and unexpected turn. It's a turn toward semi-violence, but it's not bloodcurdling violence: you could give this story to a tween or teen without feeling guilty.

The ending satisfies. As you read it, you may catch yourself murmuring, "Wow ... well ... that makes total sense!"

Want to read "Smile for the Camera" by Andrew Mondry in Weird Lit Magazine? Here is the link one more time!

Review of Short Story "Big Girls Don't Cry * Fergie" by Adam Shaw

I found this short story on a delightful online fiction website I'd never heard of before called Major 7th Magazine. For lovers of music and online fiction, it's a fun little adventure.

This story is by Adam Shaw. Like most stories in Major 7th Magazine, Shaw's story is based on a song of the writer's choosing. In this case, the writer chose "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie.

Length: Short (3 minutes or less)

Genre: Somewhere between flash fiction and memoir, in my opinion

Stick around to read my review of "Big Girls Don't Cry * Fergie". Or, go here to read the story, and then come back to see if we agree!

General Impressions

Q. How's the hook?

Anyone who's ever been young and in love will appreciate the first sentence of this story, which basically asserts that the main character's college girlfriend broke up with him using a recording of the song "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie.

I was immediately intrigued by the promise of the backstory leading to this juvenile behavior. 

Plus, the story teleported me back to a time when I, too, gleaned extreme personal meaning from pop music. Many of us had a phase in which we framed our life experiences with music, equating various popular songs with significant social and emotional life events.

Q. What made me want to keep reading this short story?

I wanted to know why the main character's girlfriend felt the need to play this song as a backdrop for the breakup. Call me nosy, but I really wanted to know. 

I was also curious to see how the writer would incorporate the lyrics from "Big Girls Don't Cry" into the story. He did a great job of it.

And that's the beauty of Major 7th Magazine. Writers select a song on which to base their short story. Readers choose which stories to read based on the curated "song" (story) list.

Q. Did I enjoy the characters?

I enjoyed the main character who got dumped, the ex-girlfriend who orchestrated the dumping, and the wife who, for years to come, chided him whenever Fergie's song popped up. 

Of those three, I loved the wife the most, probably because of the "full-bellied" laugh she issued when she first learned about the Fergie break-up incident. It depicted her confidence in herself and her relationship as well as her playful relationship with her husband.

Q. Did I like the writing style?

The matter-of-fact college recollections are refreshing. The main character reveals what his college love relationship really was to him: a "tangle of limbs," "cheap booze," and "shitty movies." 

In one paragraph, he's crying over the end of the relationship. In the next paragraph, he and his wife (especially his wife) are highly entertained by it.

In short, I love the light sentimentality and the big humor this story delivers in four short paragraphs.

Q. Was the ending satisfying?

Toward the end of the story, the main character alludes to his wife having an oncology appointment. No further details are supplied. But the implication that the wife has (or had) cancer draws a stark contrast between the nature of his relationships before and after college.

Some readers may be disappointed that the main character does not share more information about his wife's condition. But I think there's simplicity and beauty in keeping that part a mystery.

The story ends with the main character's daughter calling him "silly" for getting lost in an old memory. 

It's not dramatic, but it's a neat way to tie things up. 

Want to read "Big Girls Don't Cry * Fergie" by Adam Shaw in Major 7th Magazine? Here is the link one more time!

Review of Short Story "Grey Power" by Anne Wilkins

 I found this short story in a daily e-zine called Every Day Fiction.

It's by Anne Wilkins, a former lawyer, and much of it takes place in a courtroom.

Length: Short (5 minutes or less)

Genre: Let's call it suspenseful comedy

Stick around to read my review of "Grey Power." Or, go here to read the story, and then come back to see if we agree!

General Impressions

Q. How's the hook?

A. The first sentence begins, "In New Zealand..." 

And I was like, "Sold!"

I've never traveled to New Zealand, but I've heard wonderful things about it. Reading a story that takes place in New Zealand is far cheaper than traveling there, especially in this economy. What's more, you can get a little of your wanderlust satisfied by reading a story set in another land. (Based on the author's bio, she is actually from New Zealand.)

The story's setting is not the only aspect that hooked me. The first paragraph dives right into the subject matter, referring to a "candy assortment" of gangs in New Zealand. 

This told me two things:

1. The writer has a clever way of combining contrasting ideas to convey a thought. "Candy" and "gang" are not words I've ever read or heard in the same sentence before.
2.  The story involves intrigue (gangs) and can teach me something I know little about (gangs).

Q. What made me want to keep reading this short story?

A. The gang leader on trial is an octogenarian named Edith. I suppose that's why I think this is a comedy. You don't see many little old ladies defending themselves in court, and you definitely don't see them calling the shots in many gangs.

Edith's dialogue with her lawyer and the judge is charming and fun. She's the grandma many of us have seen and loved in sitcoms and movies: the one who does and says what she wants and doesn't give a fig what you think.

Edit may or may not be guilty of vigilante-type crimes ... but whether she's guilty or not, she has a coterie of elderly followers ready to aid and abet her.

You wouldn't say this story is "heartwarming." But it's definitely "empowering," in a comical sort of way. 

I basically kept reading because I was rooting for Edith.

Q. Did I enjoy the character?

I liked Edith even though she's a bit of a "trope." The author painted her with fairly vivid colors but didn't overwhelm me with details. In short, yes, I enjoyed the character because the author created her with flair ... and she's not overwhelming.

In fact, I wouldn't mind seeing a little more of Edith, maybe on TV. She could be a featured guest on a show like Monk, for example. (Too bad Betty White is not around for the role ... but there must be some other Edith-like actresses out there. Maybe Dame Judi Dench? Jane Fonda?)

Q. Did I like the writing style?

A. The writing flows and is easily digestible. The writer doesn't inundate the reader with flowery language. She uses shorter sentences and artfully placed, colorful descriptions here and there.

It's perfect for a quick read while you're standing in line at the bank or sitting in your car waiting for your kid's soccer practice to end. 

One sentence in this story confused me. It occurrs pretty close to the beginning and involves the word "scarper."

I admit I read that sentence several times before understanding it. Looking up the meaning of scarper in an online dictionary helped.

Of course, my not knowing the meaning of "scarper" is a me problem, not an author problem. And I'm very glad I learned a new word. Now I'm just waiting to hear someone else use it (probably within the next week) as if they've known it their whole life. Just to remind me that I don't know everything.

Q. Was the ending satisfying?

A. This is the kind of story where you find yourself rooting for the "bad guy." And while you're rooting, you're also snickering, because Edith is pretty dang funny.

The story could have ended a few other ways. I may have been satisfied with those endings, too. But as it is, I'm glad the writer chose a happy ending. It was appropriate for a comical, caricature-esque nature of this quick story.

Want to read "Grey Power" by Anne Wilkins in Every Day Fiction? Here is the link one more time!

Review of Short Story "Ms. Pac-Man in the Maze" by Sarah Chin

I found this short story on the flash-narrative e-zine SmokeLong Quarterly.

SmokeLong Quarterly has been around since 2003. According to its "Who We Are" page, the name "SmokeLong Quarterly" derives from the notion that reading one piece takes about as much time as it does to smoke a cigarette.

The author is Sarah Chin.

Length: Very Short (5 minutes or less)

Stick around to read my story review. Or, go here to read the story -- and then come back to see if we agree!

General Impressions