Welcome to my first short story review at Online Fiction Review! I found this story on the e-zine Allegory.
The author of this fun online fiction piece is Michelle Koubek.
Length: Short (a 5-minute read)
Genre: Speculative fiction
Stick around to read my review. Or, go here to read the story (and then come back to read my review to see if you agree!).
General Impressions
This imaginative story held my interest throughout. The author created suspense while showcasing the backstory and developing an interesting main character.
Q. How's the hook?
A. The author hooked me in the first paragraph. I wanted to know two things: 1) why the grandmother was locked in a cube for 10 months, and 2) whether she would be alive when the main character opened the cube.
Q. What made me want to keep reading this short story?
A. The driving question that kept me reading surfaced at the hook: Is the grandmother still alive?
Q. Was the premise interesting?
A. The story alludes to a catastrophic event that isn't fully explained and is referred to as "the event." It seems a disruption in gravity (possibly due to an oil-drilling blunder) has endangered the lives of vulnerable people (like grandparents). It may be a thinly veiled parallel to the COVID pandemic.
The main character, the grandchild, has taken on the role of caretaker/watchkeeper.
Q. Did I like the main character?
A. The main character's gender and name are not revealed, but we know they are the grandmother's grandchild. This vagueness might bother some readers, but for such a brief story, it didn't bother me.
The main character -- the grandchild -- has experienced jolting events that elicited my sympathy. For example, they were scheduled to head to outer space on a pioneering mission before "the event" occurred. Due to the event, they became grounded and stuck for months at their grandmother's bedside -- er, cubeside.
The main character acknowledges that they considered abandoning their grandmother, but it did not "seem like an option." I admit this bothered me a little, but perhaps that's my own personal bias. Who would not put their grandmother first?
In the end, however, the grandchild does make sacrifices for their grandmother, a person they don't even really know. And, after months of sitting and sifting through old photographs, they have begun to care for their grandmother in a way they hadn't expected. This is personal growth.
Q. How is the writing style?
A. This first-person story is conversational, as though the grandchild is speaking directly to the reader.
There are a few grammatical errors that the editor in me wanted to fix. ("There's been reports that give me pause" in paragraph 4.) However, as a conversational story, I realize this may have been intentional. Most of us don't speak with perfect grammar, after all
I love some of the descriptions the author used. For example, when describing the way citizens were driving during the "initial days" after the "event," the author refers to them as "erratic like blind mosquitos."
Q. Was the ending satisfying?
A. I don't want to give away the ending, but I promise it's good!
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