Review of The Gathering, Parts I, II, and III by M.N. Wiggins

"The Gathering" is a witty golf-themed story by M.N. Wiggins published on Once Upon a Crocodile. It's a serial story about a group of "OAPs" (old-age pensioners) embarking on their yearly sentimental golf outing.

But this year, things are different. One of the OAPs, nicknamed Cookie Jim, has a vendetta against his golfing gang. He wants revenge.

I don't know how many installations of this serial story the e-zine intends to publish. There have been three so far, which means I can't provide a critique of the story's ending yet.

I decided to review the part I've read anyway because M.N. Wiggins' story is funny, suspenseful, and free for you to read.

Length: 20+ minutes

Genre: Humor

General Impressions

Q. How's the hook?

Cookie Jim bakes cookies on the daily, selling them to college kids as they head across campus to their classes. In the story introduction, we see him baking up something scrumptious while chatting at his brown-and-black dachshund in a small apartment.

This first-person story hooks the reader by talking about homemade chocolate chip cookies. If you're hungry or have a sweet tooth, that may be all the incentive you need. But if not, you'll probably be hooked by paragraph 5, when Wiggins reveals the story setting.

The hook establishes some fast facts about the main character, including his occupation and life situation. There may be some symbolism here. Even in his old age, Cookie Jim is a servant to students. He's someone they "use" for a quick high.

We're swept quickly into the meat of the plot, which amps up as Cookie Jim attends the week-long golf gathering with his old school associates. He refers to the group as The Magnificent Seven, or the Seven.

Q. What made me want to keep reading?

Cookie Jim feels no warmth or sentimentality toward his old classmates. On the contrary, he's pissed at them. The plot thickens: What did these old geezers do to make him so mad?

Through colorful flashbacks, the reader gets a front-row seat to a string of Cookie Jim's bad memories involving the guys, who are named Greg, Sonny, Lance, Hal, Billy Jack, Bobby Joe, and Booger.

For example, we see those hoodlums throw a drunken Cookie Jim into a swimming pool with a live crocodile. A struggle for his life ensues. Someone films the struggle for the viewing enjoyment of Jim's fellow teenage classmates.

Through colorful present-tense dialogue, the reader sees that the Seven still verbally abuse Cookie Jim in his old age. Nothing has changed. He's still "serving" as entertainment fodder for the "popular" guys.

What is Cookie Jim's motivation for attending the golf gathering?

That's the question that made me want to keep reading.

Q. What did I think of the plot?

As the plot develops, Jim's motive for attending the golf retreat becomes increasingly clear.

In Part II, the reader gets an inkling.

In Part III, Cookie Jim's endgame is crystal clear.

How many more installations of this serial tale will follow? I'm not sure. I was bummed when i realized there's no Part IV yet, but I'm assuming Once Upon a Crocodile will eventually publish the rest.

Q. Did I enjoy the main character?

Did you watch Jim Carrey's 1996 comedy, The Cable Guy? Did you resonate with Carrey's character ... his hilarity, his patheticness?

If so, this story is for you.

In fact, I'd venture to say that Jim Carrey could play Cookie Jim if this short story were ever turned into a movie. He's in his sixties now, just like Cookie Jim.

If not Jim Carrey, maybe Bill Pullman. He's quite skilled at portraying sad, put-upon main characters.

Q. How was the writing style?

M.N. Wiggins writes realistic, snappy dialogue that simultaneously advances the story and fleshes out the characters.

Most of the paragraphs are short, which readers tend to appreciate. When occasionally a paragraph is a bit longer, it's easy to read because of all the surrounding white space.

Even though I'm not a golf fan or a man in his sixties, I'm pretty excited about this author and this story. I'll be watching Once Upon a Crocodile to see how it ends. Actually, I think I might know how it ends, but I'm excited to find out if I'm right ... and to see how Wiggins ties up each character thread.

Let's talk about "The Gathering" by M.N. Wiggins in Once Upon a Crocodile. Leave your comment below!

Review of Short Story "Ballad of the Haint Hound Killer" by Ryan Michael Hines

I read this short story on Shotgun Honey, a small publishing house that features a selection of free flash fiction stories as well as books for sale.

Shotgun Honey's flash fiction concentrates on the crime, thriller, and mystery genres. Published stories range from 250 to 700 words, according to the submissions page.

If you like thrillers, don't have time to read a novel, or just want a quick literary thrill, Shotgun Honey would be a fun site to bookmark.

I enjoyed reading six of Shotgun Honey's recently published stories before choosing to review "Ballad of the Haint Hound Killer."

Length: 5 to 6 minutes

Genre: Thriller

General Impressions

Q. How's the hook?

The plot is interspersed with verses of a poem or song ... a ballad, if you will. (A ballad, according to the online Cambridge Dictionary, tells a story by way of song or poem.)

The first lines of the story are also the first lines of the ballad. I consider this the hook. And although I'm not a huge poetry fan, I wanted to see if the author handled the ballad/narrative format well.

After all, it can be hard to cram in action and thrills when you're waxing poetic.

But as it turns out, Ryan Michael Hines knows how to weave poetry into a quick action story.

Q. What made me want to keep reading?

After a few lines of poetry, we get down to the meat of the story.

The main character (who I assumed to be male, though it is not specified) is on his way to see his brother, whom he has not seen in years. The brothers "share a sin" of some kind, but the nature of the sin is not immediately specified.

This intrigued me. What shared sin? The suspense that made me want to keep reading.

In sparse detail, the nature of the sin is eventually revealed. Sidenote: If the author were to expand this into a novel, the mystery of the "shared sin" would be an enticing draw!

Q. What did I think of the plot?

With a word count limited to 700 words, a plot can only go so far. But for your buck, Ryan Michael Hines gives a fair helping of bang.

You might say "Ballad of the Haint Hount Killer" is the "end" of a much longer story the writer only hints at. There's a lot of backstory we never learn. If the writer were to expand the story into a longer form, here are three things I'd love to know:

• What is the setting of the story?
• Why was the sin so sinful?
• Who is the Haint Hound killer?

Q. Did I enjoy the characters?

No character in this story is "likable," but all are colorful. The main character is slightly more principled than his brother. He seems like a back-country kinda fellow, and some of his narrative hints that he's either undereducated or steeped in local dialect. ("So I went to see my brother ... the one what lived on the mountain.") That said, he artfully narrates his situation. For example, he says, "The sparrows' flight told me it'd not be long before I was discovered ..."

Q. How was the writing style?

I applaud this writer because I always understood exactly what was happening. Given the amount of action that takes place, and the fact that there are three characters taking up oxygen, that's admirable.

The ballad itself is never overbearing. It's poetic but not uppity or insufferable, as some poems (in my opinion) are.

Q. Is the ending satisfying?

The writer bends logic a bit to deliver an ending that is satisfying yet a little unrealistic. I can't fully explain because I don't want to ruin it for you. Suffice it to say, the main character gives away some information he could never actually know.

That's okay, though. In a delightful way, the entire story beckons the reader to suspend disbelief.

Want to read "Ballad of the Haint Hound Killer" by Ryan Michael Hines? Here is the link!

Review of Short Story "Growing House" by Madison Ellingsworth

I read this story at Flash Fiction Online. 

Length: 2 minutes 

Genre: Flash 

General Impressions 

Growing House is a quirky piece of flash fiction. The ending is predictable, yet the writer depicts it colorfully. Some of the word choices are strange.

Q. How's the hook? 

The one-sentence hook encourages the reader to imagine Mother sitting on a chaise while eating peanuts and giving herself a pedicure.

The logistics of these two actions sparked my curiosity. Exactly how does a person eat with one hand while clipping their toenails (or, in the case of Mother, painting her toenails) with the other? Sounds like a bit of a feat to me.

But I'm interested in feats. What's more, I'm interested in characters who do things I might do. Simultaneously eating and tending to personal hygiene sounds like a familiar, rushed, early-morning activity I've done.

The second sentence is dialogue. Mother speaks bluntly about the physique of her pet frog, Peg-Peg. Dialogue pulls me in pretty quickly. Overall, the hook is good.

Q. What made me want to keep reading? 

A story about a fat frog is always interesting ... at least for a while.

Peg-Peg is referenced as "he" and "him." "Peg" is typically a female name, but whatever.

The writer does a good job describing the frogishness of the frog. He "sags" on the ground. He gazes with "bulbous" eyes at a frog-shaped outdoor fountain.

Frogs are fun. The story is short. I decided to keep reading.

Q. What did I think of the plot? 

Why is Peg-Peg so fat? Why does Peg-Peg keep getting fatter? That's the driving question.

Out of concern for the frog's well-being, Mother makes a vet appointment for Peg-Peg. 

But before she can slide the frog into a Tupperware container poked with holes for the occasion, Mother and the narrator (presumably her daughter or son) notice that Peg-Peg is no longer fat. They quickly realize why Peg-Peg was so big in the first place.

I won't put a spoiler here, but you can probably guess. Hint: It has something to do with tadpoles.

Q. Did I enjoy the main character? 

I pictured the narrating character as Mother's adult daughter. You might picture them as Mother's son. No gender is actually provided. 

Adult Daughter/Son wields a daquiri for most of the story. They're relaxing in the sun.

Here's a sentence about Adult Daughter/Son that had me puzzling: "Olive oil was sizzling on my chest, and the air smelled of barbecue."

It made me wonder if Adult Daughter/Son was actually a slab of meat on the grill.

I mean, why? Why does Adult Daughter/Son have sizzling olive oil on their chest? This is never fully explained. I supposed some people might use olive oil as tanning oil. But why would they allow the oil to sizzle? Ouch.

Q. How was the writing style? 

The writing style is simple and straightforward. It's not hard to read. You could read this short story after a long day of work or even during a bathroom break in the middle of the night, and it would (mostly) make sense.

Q. Is the ending satisfying? 

I give a hearty, resounding "yes" to this question. 

Adult Daughter/Son and Mother end up in a bizarre predicament as a result of Peg-Peg.

The last image created an unusual tableau in my mind's eye ... one I think most lovers of flash fiction would appreciate.

Want to read "Growing House" by Madison Ellingsworth in Flash Fiction Online? Here is the link to the short story one more time!